Couple counselling or Mediation?
You are having serious problems in your marriage – do you need couple counselling or mediation?
I receive a number of queries regarding the difference between couple counselling and mediation – people seem unsure about which option to choose when they are experiencing marital problems.
What is the difference between couple counselling and mediation?
Couple counselling is usually embarked upon when partners either want to work at improving their relationship or want to come to a decision regarding whether or not the relationship can be saved.
Mediation, on the other hand, is appropriate when a couple have made the decision to go their separate ways (either by separating or getting divorced) and want to come to an agreement about care and contact arrangements regarding their children and a settlement regarding finances and maintenance. (Mediation is usually a much more cost effective and less acrimonious option than going the legal route)
What are the issues to consider when deciding between couple counselling and mediation?
Do you feel that your relationship can be saved? Do you want to work on the marriage? Does your partner feel the same way? (Commitment on the part of both parties is essential for any chance of success as work needs to be done on both sides.
Sometimes couples wait to long before they come for help – often the relationship has deteriorated so badly, too much as been said and sometimes actions have been taken such as initiating an affair that reconciliation becomes a herculean task.
Who do I get to mediate?
Mediators usually have a legal or a mental health care background (psychologists and social workers).
It is important to choose a mediator who is appropriately trained and well experienced. In the Cape mediators are accredited with FAMAC (the Family Mediators’ Association of the Cape). In order to find an accredited mediator in your area, you can consult the FAMAC website.
Visit our Mediation website for more information: www.mediationsolutions.co.za