If so, chances are that your partner is male! And that you are extremely frustrated and unhappy!
In my experience of counselling couples, in many of my couples who report having tempestuous and high conflict relationships, one partner accuses the other of being narcissistic.
Why? Because the partner is accused on showing zero empathy, only considers their own needs and demonstrates a strong sense of entitlement without considering their partner’s feelings or needs.
Recent research which as involved a meta-analysis of 31 years of research on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder reports that they have found significant differences between males and females in this regard (across all age groups and multiple generations). Men have been found consistently to have higher incidences of narcissism and a sense of entitlement. This is bad news for the women who are in relationships with these men unfortunately!
Narcissistic personalities tend to be high in self-esteem (they tend to believe that they are perfect and do not need to change in any way), lack empathy for their partners (and anyone else) and are prone to unethical behaviour and to high levels of aggression. This combination of traits very rarely leads to happy relationships!
Narcissistic personalities rarely do well in couple counselling as these individuals invariably want to call the shots and want it all their own way. They tend to be unable, or unwilling, to see things from their partner’s point of view.
So is there any hope for partners who are involved in a relationship with someone who is a narcissist? Of course it depends on a number of factors such as the personality of the partner and whether or not they are prepared to adjust their expectations, their own attitude and their behaviour to accommodate their mate’s personality style. In my experience, someone with a dependent personality style is most likely to be prepared to accept a partner’s narcissism because they have low levels of self-esteem and a high need to be in a relationship.
More often than not, though, individuals with narcissistic personality disorder tend to develop a history of short, unstable relationships. They are also bad news as parents.
So the moral of this story is: Don’t be blinded by a date’s good looks and his charm (narcissists can be really charming)! Look beyond this to the other relationships he has and has had in his life!