A Week in my Psychologist’s Chair

Reflections on all things Psychological in my Cape Town Psychology and Mediation Practice

 

I thought readers may be interested in getting  glimpse each week on the issues/problems that have been the focus of my attention in my psychology practice over the last week or so and my insight/suggestions/advice in this regard.

 

I will group these under various headings.

 

Couples/Relationships/Marriage

 

Most clients who come to see me are doing so because of relationship difficulties. They either come along alone (either because they elect to do so because they want to discuss their issues privately, or more commonly, their partner is resistant to coming for therapy).

 

The themes that have come out strongly this last week are:

  • To make a success of a marriage both your hearts should be fully on board.  Make sure you are committing to your relationship for the right reasons. For example, clients report that they decided to get married because a lease ran out on one of the partner's accommodation and another one agreed to tie the knot because his/her partner was about to leave the country. These reasons might be regarded as practical at the time, but are ultimately poor reasons for getting together. If both partners aren't equally psychologically and emotionally ready to enter into a permanent relationship, problems are likely to occur down the line.
  • Mutual trust is the glue that keeps healthy relationships strong. If trust breaks down, poor communication, conflict and a loss of intimacy are often the inevitable result. 
  • To improve your relationship you will need to spend mutually enjoyable one-on-one time together. During these times it is important to leave your problems behind and talk about "fun" topics, as if you are going out on "real"  date.

 

Stress and Burnout

 

I have become very aware this week of the "silent"  load that many individuals carry on a daily basis:  having too much on their plates at any one time –  feeling  overwhelmed by pressure to perform  both at home and at work. Often this can lead to extreme stress, causing insomnia, headaches and the like. When this situation goes on for quite some time, individuals often start to feel helpless to bring about any positive change and this can lead to high levels of anxiety and depression.

What can be done about this?

It is important to analyse the situation in terms of what and where changes can be made. Some things can't be changed and the challenge with these it to find ways to adapt by choosing to view the situation in a different way. However, sometimes we give up too soon when positive change is actually possible. It pays, therefore, to have someone who can provide objective guidance and support should you wish to change your life in a positive direction.

 

I would appreciate your comments!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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