Couples and Relationship Counselling: For Love or Money…

What role does money play in your relationship?

Where do you and your partner stand when it comes to money issues?


In order to help you to answer these questions, consider the following questions:


Do you and your partner:

1. See eye-to-eye on financial matters most of the time?

2. Keep details of your personal finances private?

3. Have certain secrets when it comes to your personal finances?

4. Make major financial decisions together?

5. Tend to agree on priorities when it comes to money?

6. Have a shared vision of the future?

7. Battle to agree or compromise when it comes to financial decisions?


If you both answered “yes” to questions 1,4,5 and 6 you and your partner seem to have a healthy approach to financial matters in your relationship. However, if items 2 ,3 and 7 apply to your relationship, money appears to represent  a potential problem and source of conflict between you both.

Perhaps you are wondering why I am advocating total transparency when it comes to financial matters?

This is how I see it:

The majority of unhappy couples who walk through the door of my psychology practice say that they yearn for deeper intimacy with their partner and a more meaningful level of communication yet in many cases they are resistant to the idea of sharing all aspects of their finances with each other. 

How can a couple hope to (re-)establish trust and intimacy in their relationship if they are simultaneously giving their partner the message that he/she is being shut out of a fundamentally important aspect of their partner’s life? In addition, how can a couple make informed decisions about their future together if they cannot openly discuss their joint finances together?

it is so important, therefore, to talk to your partner in depth about all aspects related to money and finances as early as possible in your relationship and thereafter on a regular basis so that you can be confident that you are both on the same page when it comes to money matters in your relationship.

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