Couples: Is your partner ambivalent about your relationship?
And if so, what can you do?
Often couples contact me only when their relationship is in a very bad way. Both partners may be sitting in my counselling room telling me that they want desperately to work on their relationship when if fact one (or both) have already decided that this is the last stop before they intend to call it quits.
Sometimes one partner believes that their spouse is committed to making things work, when they may either:
a) be feeling very confused and uncertain about whether or not they still want to be together.
b) may have already decided that they “want out” and are merely waiting for the counsellor to confirm their belief that the relationship cannot be saved.
This can come as a huge shock to the partner who is invested in making things work out.
What can, and should the “committed” partner do in this situation?
What not to do:
The sudden knowledge that a partner is thinking about ending your relationship will probably cause intense feelings – of anxiety and even panic.
However, pressurising your partner at this point won’t usually get you the answers you crave!
Your partner may not actually know what he/she feels or wants and pressurising them will probably only cause further negativity.
So what is a better course of action?
I will talk more about this in the next post….
Tags: Couple counselling
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