Getting married soon? Are you sure you are compatible?

In my couple counselling and couple coaching practice I see mostly unhappy couples – those who are struggling with communication problems and unresolved areas of conflict. It often strikes me how seldom couples speak about how they are planning to navigate central issues in their lives once they are married. Couples who have been married for some time often recall how they had been so in love with each other when they were dating and then got carried away by all the excitement of the wedding and honeymoon, only to discover when “real life” began in earnest, that there were serious differences in their values, beliefs and approaches to life.

What are the major areas of conflict in couples that I see?

These are the most common:

  • religious/spiritual beliefs
  • money
  • approaches to parenting
  • in-laws and friends
  • sex and intimacy

Differences of any sort between couples are normal and inevitable. However, how a couple approaches these is of crucial importance to how happy they are with their relationship. Years and years of disagreements and fighting over long-standing issues can damage relationships, sometimes beyond repair.

Before tying the knot is the best time to explore differences and learn good, effective communication skills to address conflict when it arises.

Prevention is better than cure!

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