In my psychology practice I have many clients and couples where in-laws play a big role in the relationship – often in a very bad way! In many cases the in-laws, and usually predominantly the mother-in-law, is a major source of relationship conflict and numerous fights between the couple that recur time after time because nothing in the dynamic ever changes!
In fact I have seen a number of couples for couples counselling who tell me that their relationship is on the rocks, largely due to issues and differences of opinion about one or both sets of parents. And of course, in many cases, the in-laws appear to be far from blameless in the whole saga!
Sometimes it is a case of a mom-in-law not wanting to let go of her number one place in her child’s (usually her son’s) life, and then there are clients who are in their own marriage or intimate relationship yet still seem to be so enmeshed in the lives of their parents, and vice versa, to the degree that they seem unable to put their spouse’s needs, and the needs of their own relationship, first.
With other clients who are in couple counselling with me, one partner might complain that he/she feels caught in the middle in the war between their spouse andhis/her parents and doesn’t know which way to jump to avoid the fallout!
All in all, this type of dynamic can, and usually does, play havoc on any relationship!
So the question is – what can be done?
I will explore this question further in my next post…
Your comments and suggestions would be welcome!