Tag: anxiety management

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Life in General

The advantages of on-line psychotherapy and counselling.

Why on-line therapy and counselling is such a bonus!

A hot topic on psychotherapy forums at the moment is on-line therapy, which comes as no surprise. Many of us psychologists have used skype and face-time for psychotherapy sessions for quite some time, for clients who are in other cities or countries. However,  now due to the Covid 19 lock-down we tend to be looking at moving the majority of our sessions on-line.

Of course on-line therapy has its challenges, such as establishing and maintaining strong emotional rapport when physically separated, privacy and confidentiality concerns and other logistical issues, to name a few.

However, most of us are so used to, and comfortable with, relating to family and friends via skype, whatsapp and facetime that one soon becomes comfortable with this mode of therapy, I have found, as long as one’s internet connection is stable and reliable, on-line therapy can be very effective.

The advantages of on-line therapy

Of course, the obvious advantages are that you can consult with a psychologist from anywhere in the world, from the convenience of your home. This is particularly ideal at the present time of general lock-down, when anxiety levels, depression and stress are at an all-time high globally, due to the general uncertainty and our fears for our own health and the health and welbeing of all the people we care about.

Another advantage is the flexibility aspect. Psychotherapy and counselling sessions can be scheduled at any time at the convenience of the therapist and the client. I have found it convenient, with some of my clients, to schedule shorter, more frequent sessions at the moment, to support clients more often and regularly, which has become really important, especially for individuals who are living alone and/or have little social support. 

Other people who can and do benefit from online therapy during the corona virus epidemic are individuals who are battling to cope with isolation, particularly those with mental health issues and any time of addiction. 

Couples who are in unhappy relationships, where there is a great deal of conflict at home can also benefit from attending on-line counselling and mediation sessions. Extended periods of isolation will tend to exacerbate relationship problems so it is advisable to deal with anger and relationship issues before they escalate. 

If anyone has any questions regarding the practicalities of online counselling, please let me know.

Best wishes to you all!

 

 

 

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Maintaining Healthy Relationships

Maintaining healthy relationships in the face of the corona virus.

Do’s and Don’ts…..

Now that most of the world has been advised to self-isolate, how will our closest relationships be impacted?

As things stand at the moment – we are all going to be spending a great deal of time under the same roof as our immediate family. For many families this is great news – no need to spend hours in the traffic, lots of unstructured time, and the opportunity to be together.

However, for many people, the heightened stress and anxiety about the uncertainty about the impacts of the virus in all spheres of life will cause many people to become preoccupied and irritable, which will, of course, impact negatively on their closest relationships.

What can you do?

  1. Be aware and mindful – of what you are saying, and the tone of voice that you are using. Keep an eye on your moods and your anxiety and stress levels. If your anxiety and stress levels are moderate to high, do something about these – such as speaking to someone, downloading a mindfulness or meditation app and exercising regularly, in the outdoors if possible.
  2. Be committed to being respectful and kind to those close to you, especially when tensions are raised in the household.
  3. Focus of what is important and meaningful in your life, value the present and try not to stress the small stuff.
  4. Get enough exercise and sleep.
  5. Arrange some daily alone time.

And the don’ts?

  1. Don’t let anxiety, stress and depression get the better of you. Practice good thought hygiene (read up on the principles and practice of CBT or attend some counselling or psychotherapy sessions to learn these skills).
  2. Don’t evade personal responsibility when it comes to improving relationships. It is easy to assume the other person is at fault. Ask yourself what you can do differently to improve your close relationships.

Empathy and consideration go a long way! Make this period of self-isolation an experience that your family members will remember with fondness in the decades ahead!

 

 

Categories
Life in General

Do you suffer from anxiety or depression?

If so, how healthy are your thoughts?

These days most of us are conscious of our health and we do a great deal to ensure that we stay well. We watch our diet, many of us exercise regularly, and we know we need to get good quality sleep.

But how many of us are aware that to we need to watch what we think as well to protect our mental health?

In my psychology practice I am very aware that few people monitor their thinking. In fact, many people are of the view that the thoughts that go through their minds are outside of their control.

Individuals who are prone to anxiety thing a great many “what if” thoughts during the day, such as “what if I mess up during my exam”, whilst people who suffer from depression tend to ruminate excessively.

These types of thought patterns serve to “feed” anxiety and depression.

It is possible to gain control of your thoughts through CBT (cognitive-behavioural therapy). This will enable you to break the cycle of anxious and negative thinking.

There was an interesting article on the Psychology Today facebook page today, which speaks about the serious consequences to one’s mental health of negative thinking habits:

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/words-can-change-your-brain/201208/the-most-dangerous-word-in-the-world?

Steering away from negative thinking towards a positive mindset is the subject of Positive Psychology.

If you would like to be happier, more optimistic and hence more psychologically resilient I recommend that you embrace the principles of Positive Psychology.

Wouldn’t this be a great way to begin 2020 (and enjoy the festive season)?

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Life in General Mindfulness Psychology in practice

Perfectionism: Are you the perfect perfectionist?

And is it working for you?

Perfectionists are invariably high achievers as they are usually single-minded in their determination to be the best at everything they undertake. Perfectionists are highly motivated and goal directed and usually do well at work as a result. For this reason, society and bosses, value perfectionists.

So why can perfectionism become a problem?

Perfectionists tend to see things in terms of black and white – only 100% (or even 110%) is seen as good enough. Small mistakes are often catastrophised as failure. Perfectionists tend to drive themselves ruthlessly, often resulting in burnout and health problems, such as high blood pressure and cardiac problems.

Individuals prone to perfectionistic thinking also suffer from high levels of anxiety and depression. They tend to worry excessively about making mistakes – being five minutes late for work can be viewed as a major disaster!

For this reason perfectionists often consider psychotherapy to help them to overcome and manage their symptoms and to make desired  changes to their lifestyle so they are able to feel less burned out and exhausted.

Why is perfectionism such a hard nut to crack when there are such obvious benefits to moderating this behaviour pattern?

Perfectionists try hard to achieve in everything they set out to do – however, trying hard to become less of a perfectionist creates a paradox – a bit like trying hard to sleep or to relax! I point out to my perfectionist clients that, if they are convinced that curbing their perfectionistic tendencies will lead to greater happiness that they will need to learn the cognitive skills that will allow them to revise their all-or-nothing thinking and to control and calm their minds. Useful approaches in this regard include cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), relaxation and mindfulness training.

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Life in General Managing stress New Research and Ideas

When it comes to anxiety, stress and depression: Are you unwittingly making things worse?

anxiety and depression

Our thinking patterns are crucial in determining how we feel!

In my psychology practice, anxiety, depression and stress are the three major problems that cause many of my clients acute distress so I am always interested to read about research in these areas.

A recent article in Psyblog mentioned three behavioural styles that are common in individuals who suffer from depression. These include rumination (preoccupation with cycles of negative throughts), a lack of adaptive coping ( failing to seek support and also not using positive approaches such as exercising and seeking out positive experiences) and self-blame.

On the subject of stress – a large proportion of the stress we experience is as a result of daily hassles – recurrent, annoying things that happen on a daily basis such as hold-ups in the traffic, appliance malfunctions and call-centre queries. Our stress levels are dependent on the way in which we interpret and respond to these stressors and our health is directly affected by our characteristic way of responding to these hassles.

The postive implication of this research is, of course, that it is possible to alter these patterns of behaviour. This is frequently the focus of my counselling and psychotherapy with my clients.

Source

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Life in General Psychology in practice

Do you expect too much (or too little) in life? Don’t underestimate the importance of your expectations!

Time and time again in my psychology practice I am told by my clients that one of the most useful things they have got out of coming for psychotherapy or counselling is my highlighting the role that our expectations play in our lives.

Why are our expectations so important?

I have found that faulty and unrealistic expectations underlie many of the issues that bring clients into therapy. Anger, frustration, depression and anxiety often a result of expectations that are out of sync with reality. For example, clients with anger and frustration problems will invariably think  ” X should or shouldn’t act in a certain way” or in the case of road rage “that type of behaviour should not be allowed on the road” If you commonly use the words “Should”, “must”, “always” and “never” in your internal dialogue this is a sign that you are setting yourself up for frustration and anger, which is of course ultimately self-defeating and also potentially damaging to your health in the long-term!

Anxiety, on the other hand, is caused when we predict some dire event occuring at some time in the future – the “what …if” scenarios. When we get depressed we expect that nothing is going to improve and that we will always feel the same way as we do in the moment, which is, of course, also highly unlikely and unrealistic.

And then there are the cases of self-fulfilling prophecies when we predict some dire outcome and then unconsciously act in a way that brings these into being!

As most of the expectations that we harbour operate on a totally unconscious level, these tend to influence our behaviour and our moods largely outside our awareness. This dynamic forms the basis of cognitive-behavoural therapy, or CBT, which has been found to be extremely effective in enabling individuals to improve their moods and thus also their general wellbeing.

So I suggest that you do some self-reflection – get in touch with your expectations and think about how they influence your life and your relationships!

 

 

Categories
Life in General Managing stress Psychology in practice

Social phobia: Are you phobic when it comes to making presentations?

Here are some tips for mastering this very common problem.

 

Over the years I have had many clients in my psychology practice who have been plagued by social phobia causing anxiety, fear and dread when contemplating the idea of making presentations to large groups of people. Often their career success depends on being able to make impactful presentations and so there is invariably a great deal at stake.

 

If this is your particular issue, what can you do?

 

1. Mastering your anxiety is key. Don’t allow yourself to go into “what-if” or catastrophising thinking – this will make your anxiety sky-rocket! Rather speak to yourself asif you were your own sports coach – use encouraging language, say things to yourself like “I will take things one at a time”.

2. Remember to breathe deeply. Take a couple of deep breaths if you feel your anxiety start to build.

3. In the days before the presentation, take some time to close your eyes and to visualise yourself going through the presentation in a confident way, from start to finish.

4. Make sure you are well-prepared and know your subject matter backwards so that you hardly have to concentrate on bringing the material to mind during the presentation but can focus of making your talk interesting and checking your audience to see whether or not they are involved and interested in what you are saying.

5. If you are using audio-visual material such as a powerpoint presentation, make sure each slide is uncluttered and pleasing on the eye!

6. Just before the presentation, close your eyes and get into “the zone” where you access your “confident self” and go out there and act the part, even if it is an act initially.

7. When you are presented with your audience, focus on them and not on yourself!

8. And practise makes perfect! Practise on small groups of people initially, perhaps colleagues who are supportive and will give you helpful suggestions.

 

Best wishes!