Tag: anxiety

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Life in General Mindfulness Psychology in practice

How do you protect your mental health from the spectre of the coronavirus?

With all the world-wide mass-hysteria and panic that has accompanied the imminent threat of the coronavirus,  I have been wondering how we all as individuals have been coping on a day to day basis!?

Of course we each have our own coping styles when it comes to dealing with stress and anxiety. However, the coronavirus threat is something so out of the normal range of stressors that we routinely have to deal with, and is causing such major disruption in so many areas of life on a global scale, that it is challenging each of our inner resources and resiliency to the maximum.

The ubiquitous news updates of the world-wide spread of the virus serves to make us as individuals feel personally vulnerable, insecure and unsafe, which fuels a feeling of anxiety, depression and hopelessness, especially in those of us who are prone to anxiety and depression. 

So what can each of us do to mitigate against the psychological effects presented by the spread of the coronavirus?

  1. Manage your anxiety by practicing CBT techniques such as monitoring your thoughts for patterns of “what if” thoughts that lead to heightened anxiety and challenge catastophizing thoughts about worst-case scenarios.
  2. Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques to focus on the present moment and to calm your mind.
  3. Manage any depressed or hopeless thoughts by challenging their validity and usefulness. Don’t allow yourself to sink into a “doom-and gloom” mind-set. Internalise the principles of Positive Psychology by working on your stress management and psychological resilience.
  4. Adopt a solutions-focused “how” approach to the problems presented by the coronavirus. We as humans are amazingly inventive and adaptable. Use this ability to the fullest and this will increase your sense of personal control and positive self-esteem.
  5. Remember that “this too shall pass”.  Adopting a pragmatic approach and conveying this to your family and friends, will not only help you personally but perhaps you can also make a positive difference to the mental health of those closest to you.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any queries or comments!

 

 

Categories
Life in General

Anxiety. Are you dealing with it in the best possible way?

And what does your approach to anxiety tell you about yourself?

In my previous blog-post I talked about how important it is to examine your life and to work at understanding yourself.

Anxiety is something that we all experience from time to time. Why? Because life tends to be uncertain and unpredictable, and comes with a certain amount of risk – of accidents, illness, financial hardship and natural disasters – to name a few.

Evolutionary psychologists tell us that anxiety has been with us since the dawn of time and is a major factor in our survival as a species. Fear and anxiety are hard-wired into the most primitive parts of our brain.

However, of course, some individuals experience a great deal more anxiety than others do. Many have generalised anxiety disorder, where one is generally anxious without necessarily knowing what one is anxious about. Other forms of anxiety relate to a specific thing or situation, such as having a fear of heights or a phobia of snakes.

How do you deal with the uncertainty and potential risks in your life? If you tend to avoid things that make you anxious, this can lead to more and more situations that need to be avoided to relieve your anxiety, and life becomes very tough and stressful as a result.

A much better anxiety-management strategy is to identify your sources of anxiety and stress and examine your thought patterns that lead you to feel anxious. This is an element of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or CBT and is an approach I use a great deal in my psychology practice.

Other very useful strategies for dealing with anxiety include meditation and mindfulness training. Regular exercise is also a very positive way to manage stress and anxiety.

If you have any questions about managing your anxiety better, please get in touch.

Categories
Maintaining Healthy Relationships Psychology in practice

Do you consider yourself good relationship material?

And why this matters!

Perhaps you have been in a happy and fulfilling relationship for a long time! If so, to what do you attribute this success?

(Do you see this as predominantly due to mutual hard work, your partner’s positive attributes or perhaps are own? Perhaps you see it as a combination of all three)?

I find it fascinating to ask this question of happy as well as unhappy couples.

I wonder if you can predict how the answers of these two groups differ from each other?

It goes without saying really. On average happy couples are generous with their praise of their partners’ positive attributes, such as patience, respect and appreciation for their “other half” whilst troubled couples tend to play the “blame game” and often battle to recall their partner’s positive aspects. Sometimes troubled couples even fail to recall what attracted them to their partner in the first place!

Each of us could do with reflecting regularly on what we personally bring into our most significant relationship, in areas such as:

Our unique personality make-up and attitude to life:

Are you an optimist or a pessimist, for example?

Are you even- tempered or moody? If you tend to be depressed or if your emotions tend to be volatile, your partner may be at the receiving end of your unhappiness. I find that unhappy couples tend to blame their bad relationship for their unhappiness, when there is often more of a circular causal relationship at play.

How do you manage your anger?

When you have a major disagreement with your partner how do you go about finding a resolution?

Do you initiate a discussion with your partner by asking when would it be convenient to talk about the issue on your mind or do you loose your cool and insist on dealing with it immediately? Individuals who lack control over their anger run the risk of seriously damaging their relationship in the long-term should he or she say and 0r doing things that can’t ever be retracted.

Perhaps you are someone who withdraws from your partner when you feel angry or hurt? You may go quiet for hours or days and when communication resumes perhaps the issue in question is never discussed or resolved. The danger here is that partners fail to communicate adequately and constructively with one another and their intimate connection becomes lost along the way.

Are you an anxious person?

It is often difficult not to let heightened levels of anxiety affect your relationship. Anxious individuals tend to crave certainty and predictability. How does this impact on a relationship? Of course every anxious individual will be different in this regard. However, it is common for there to be a strong need for control and an aversion to taking any type of risk. 

How can you do to ensure that you are doing all that you can to prevent your “dark side” from damaging your relationships?

I would suggest that the first step could involve becoming mindful of how you feel during each day and the way in which you are interacting with others. If you believe that you may be suffering from depression, anger issues or high levels of anxiety I would suggest that you speak with someone about it as soon as possible. You owe it to yourself, your partner, family and your friends!

 

 

Categories
Psychology in practice

Depression and anxiety. When questioning thoughts become problematic.

Are you a deep thinker? Do you often ponder over the meaning and purpose of your life or on the impermanence of Life? And why and when can this type of thinking become a threat to your mental health?

In my practice I have found that depression and anxiety are two of the three major problems that bring individuals to see me (the third one being relationship problems).

I have found that low mood and anxiety are inevitably fueled by recursive, negative thought patterns or ruminations.

In the case of depressed thinking, clients will often ask themselves questions such as:

“Why do I feel this way?” or “How did I get to feel like this?” and/or existential questions such as “What is the purpose of my life?” and “Why is this happening to me?”.

Anxiety based questions usually begin with “what if” such as “What if I never feel any better than I feel now”. The words “always” and “never” feature prominently in ruminating thoughts.

Are these types of thoughts always a bad thing?

Of course the answer to this question is “no”. We all need to ask ourselves “deep” questions from time to time to ensure that we are living authentic and meaningful lives and that our behaviour is in line with our values and goals.

However, when we ask ourselves these questions when we are not in a good space (psychologically speaking) we run the risk of intensifying the negative emotions that are being experienced.

So the take home message is as follows: debate the big issues when you are feeling upbeat about life!

 

In a following post I will make some suggestions regarding how to stop negative thoughts and ruminations.

 

 

Categories
Life in General Managing stress Psychology in practice

If you are feeling anxious, stressed or depressed for now apparent reason…..

perhaps you are “catching” these emotions from other people near to you!

A case example: Susan comes to see me in my psychology practice because she is about to write her final exams and is concerned that she is so “stressed out” that she fears that she will go blank when she is faced with her exam paper and will do badly as a result.

When I explore the factors that may be adding to her stress levels it turns out that she is in a small class at college, where her class-mates talk about themselves about how stressed they all are. They also commiserate with each other about how difficult the work is and how “impossible” it will be to do well in the exams.

In this way the stress levels of the group tend to increase as the exam date looms nearer and nearer.

Case 2: Tony is in his early twenties. He reports that he suffers from debilitating social anxiety which affects both his ability to interact socially and to find a fulfilling job. has grown up in a household where his father has always worried about everything. Tony’s father has conveyed the unconscious message to his children from the time they were small that the world is a dangerous and unpredictable place and that other people are generally not to be trusted. Tony comes to see me because he wants to become less anxious and more comfortable in social settings.

Case 3: Mary comes to see me because she is feeling “down” and unmotivated – that she has lost her enthusiasm for life. She is a homemaker and has many friends and hobbies but of late she has lost enthusiasm for the things she previously enjoyed. Her husband has been retired for a year and her children have left home. She reports that her husband tends to sit around the house all day, eating, drinking and watching TV. He tends to be demanding and would talk at length about how bad “things” had become.

 

Most clients who come to see me for counselling and psychotherapy tend to believe that their unpleasant psychological states are due to something they are feeling, doing or not doing – that they are the source of their problem (this is not the case with most couples I see, who usually blame each other, initially at any rate, for the problems in their relationship). I have often found though, on closer examination, that the social environment can play a big role in the our emotions states. Psychologists and social psychology researchers put this down to our ability to empathize with others. Those of us who are high in emotional empathy tend to “pick up” the emotions of others easily and will thus be more likely to be affected by the negative of other people. This influence is especially strong when there is a close emotional bond and a close and lengthy proximity with a stressed, anxious or depressed person or group.   Psychologists call this phenomenon “transference”.

This tendency to “catch” feelings from others and from our environment isn’t always a bad thing of course. We can also be affected by joy and happiness! 

In a following post I will suggest ways of counteracting the negative effects of this unconscious “force”.

 

 

 

Categories
Health and Happiness Life in General

Do you have mental health goals for 2015?

When considering New Year’s resolutions, most people think about their physical health or career goals. I contend though that without sound mental health it will be very difficult to achieve one’s other goals!

I therefore suggest that you consider your mental health for a moment….

If you had to rate your current happiness and contentment with life on a ten point scale, with ten being total contentment, where would you place yourself at the moment? Perhaps for a moment you could think about why you have placed yourself where you have on this scale. Some interesting, and revealing questions that you may pose to yourself might include the following existential questions:

What makes me happy in life? What matters most to me and what do I want to achieve in the areas that count, such as in my relationships and my quality of life? What stands in my way of making the necessary changes so that I can live a truly authentic life? (Here I am referring mainly to internal, psychological barriers, such as depression, anxiety and procrastination).

Often, as you know,  we tend to spend our time grappling with immediate concerns and short-term deadlines, with the result that these important questions often get ignored until some huge crisis such a death or a divorce forces a reappraisal of one’s life. I suggest that it is a good idea to do some psychological housekeeping on a regular basis in order to make sure that you have the psychological resources and resilience to tackle all the challenges that will come your way in 2015.

 

In my next post I will expand further on this topic!

 

 

Categories
Life in General Managing stress New Research and Ideas

When it comes to anxiety, stress and depression: Are you unwittingly making things worse?

anxiety and depression

Our thinking patterns are crucial in determining how we feel!

In my psychology practice, anxiety, depression and stress are the three major problems that cause many of my clients acute distress so I am always interested to read about research in these areas.

A recent article in Psyblog mentioned three behavioural styles that are common in individuals who suffer from depression. These include rumination (preoccupation with cycles of negative throughts), a lack of adaptive coping ( failing to seek support and also not using positive approaches such as exercising and seeking out positive experiences) and self-blame.

On the subject of stress – a large proportion of the stress we experience is as a result of daily hassles – recurrent, annoying things that happen on a daily basis such as hold-ups in the traffic, appliance malfunctions and call-centre queries. Our stress levels are dependent on the way in which we interpret and respond to these stressors and our health is directly affected by our characteristic way of responding to these hassles.

The postive implication of this research is, of course, that it is possible to alter these patterns of behaviour. This is frequently the focus of my counselling and psychotherapy with my clients.

Source

Categories
Health and Happiness Managing stress Mindfulness Psychology in practice

Why is it easier to be anxious and depressed rather than happy and relaxed?

It appears that we can blame it on evolution!

 

Why is it so difficult to stop our minds drifting to unpleasant and anxiety-provoking topics? Often this happens in the middle of the night, especially to insomniacs who often find that their thoughts prevent them from getting back to sleep.

Well, evolutionary psychologists put it down to the way in which our brains are wired, says Ronald Siegel in his article entitled “West meets East” in the September/October edition of Psychotherapy Networker (in which he discussed the link between psychotherapy and Eastern spiritual practices, such as mindfulness).

The arguement goes that the human beings of today have survived through natural selection only because, through thousands of years, they are the ones who were constantly on the lookout for danger and needed to be extremely adept at anticipating possible risks and life-threatening situations. So anxiety and fear kept you alive whilst happiness and complacency got you killed.

So, although the world has changed a great deal since the days of our cavemen ancestors, our physiology and the wiring of our brains have remained more or less the same, causing us to react to (usually) benign life events, such as traffic snarl-ups and work pressure, asif they were of the magnitude of a tiger hiding in the shadows, waiting to pounce.

So if we are wired for anxiety and stress, what can be done about it?

First it is necessary to develop an awareness of the problem. Then with the help of cognitive-behavioural techniques (CBT), relaxation training and mindfulness techniques it is possible to gain control of one’s thoughts and to calm down the mind. It is important to take on board that one’s thoughts are merely a product of one’s mind and are not necessarily accurate. It is quite possible to substitute more balanced thoughts for thoughts that lead to anxiety, stress and depression. This will help to calm the mind, paving the way for a more measured, focused and appreciative approach to life, including one’s relationships.

And this can only lead to an inhanced feeling of happiness and contentment!

Categories
Maintaining Healthy Relationships

Understanding yourself – using your anxiety as a signpost.

What are you worried about and what makes you anxious?

Your anxiety can point the way to constructive change in your life and in your relationships

In my psychology practice I see many clients who struggle with anxiety and chronic worry. They are often so preoccupied by their anxiety that they feel their lives have become limited, self-involved and essentially unsatisfying.

Most people just want to stop worrying and feeling anxious – that is understandable and a worthwhile short-term goal. However, the nature of their anxiety can point the way to understanding what is important to that particular individual, and this is important to understand if we are wishing to achieve a more holistic, long-term solution to their problems and issues.

For example, I had a client recently who was extremely anxious because of a perceived failure of sexual performance, specifically premature ejaculation. During our first session it became clear that he was placing so much pressure on himself  to perform because the relationship with his partner was extremely important to him. He was actually trying desperately hard to please her – but in a way that was having the opposite effect – he was getting more and more anxious and she was feeling “turned off”.

So the anxiety which brought my client into treatment highlighted the importance of addressing the relationship issues – and for that reason I recommended couple counselling to my client – so that he could get his partner on board to support his treatment for his anxiety and sexual performance concerns but also to understand how his partner was experiencing the problem, what she felt she needed from him in terms of their relationship, and to improve their communication, and ultimately, their relationship.

It was also revealed, as therapy progressed, that there were deep roots to my client’s anxiety. Since childhood he had been suffering from low self-esteem – he had had a stutter and, as a result, was teased mercilessly by other children at school. He became avoidant and extremely distrustful of people in general. These effects were still evident in his current life.

So my client’s presenting anxiety provided the both the impetus for treatment and also led, like a paper-trail, to the underlying  problems and issues in his life.

Categories
Managing stress New Research and Ideas Talking Points in Psychology and Psychotherapy

Are you serious about improving your psychological well-being and your happiness in 2011?Find out what Positive Psychology and Health Psychology have to offer!

When I ask clients who visit my psychology practice for the first time what their goals are, many of them say that they want to be happy!
We all know that happiness is often an elusive emotion and difficult if not impossible to achieve when we are not in a good space psychologically and we are experiencing anxiety and/or depression.

 

What is Positive Psychology?
The psychologist and researcher, Dr. Martin Seligman, is well-known for his work in Positive Psychology, see:
www. reflectivehappiness.com and www.authentichappiness.org.
Positive Psychology concentrates on personal strengths, positive emotions, happiness, optimism and hope and how we can work on these to improve our sense of well-being.

What is Health Psychology?
Psychologists and researchers who are interested in this field study the link between psychological and physical health. In our practice in Wynberg, Cape Town, we psychologists always emphasise with each client the importance of eating healthy, balanced meals, getting enough rest, relaxation and in exercising regularly if they are serious about improving their psychological well-being!     
 
Over the next few posts I will be speaking about the mental-health benefits of changing one’s mind-set to embrace the principles and practices of both Positive Psychology and Health Psychology.